ANDREW SYMONDS told to keep rowing back to Brisbane … Brendan Fevola's Sad Monday apparatus purchased by Nikki Hudson … League turns into a Sex Pistols concert … Wallabies fans trade Bledisloe Cup tickets for lifetime of hard labour … Australia v Bangladesh: the series time forgot. Revelations Talk of Symonds wanting to quit the Australian team was dismissed as an overreaction, but the short statement he released the day after arriving home from Darwin said it all. The original statement drafted on his behalf included references along the lines of being committed to the team and making a return, but Symonds had them removed. Instead, he only made mention of the fact he was taking time out to think things over, and thanked his well-wishers. It was a decision made in anger, as Symonds felt betrayed by the teammates and staff who expelled him from the Darwin camp. He also remains intensely bitter at Cricket Australia over their cop-out last summer during the Harbhajan Singh racism row, which created an unmended chasm between player and employer. But there's little doubt he'll return - with CA able to block him from playing solely in the IPL, what choice does he really have? Professional's tip for the weekend One man set to benefit from Symonds's enforced break is David Hussey. He told us this week that while batting "is all about ego", success arises from putting that ego aside at the right time. "When you are out there batting, the bowler has all the control," he said. "He's coming down the pitch and sneering at you and saying all sorts of unmentionable things. At all times [previously], I would really look to take it to those bowlers. I take it personally. You want to go out there and show everyone you are a better player than he is. But I learned that sometimes it might not be what is best for the team." Odd spot The New York Giants have named Snausages the official dog snack of the team, si.com reports. For every third down the Giants convert this year, Snausages will donate $100 to New York Pet Rescue. The pooches will no doubt watch the games with interest. Sheik and bake It's tough to keep up with these UAE sheiks and their billions. Earlier this year, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum bought Ingham's Woodlands Stud in the Hunter Valley for $460 million, making the Dubai ruler and world's biggest owner of thoroughbreds the dominant force in Australian racing. Now his countryman Sheik Mansoor bin Zayed al Nahyan has bought a 90 per cent share in English Premier League club Manchester City with the aim of transforming them into Champions League winners in three years. Sheik Mansoor is reportedly willing to spend $1 billion on talent, targeting the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Kaka, Fernando Torres, Cesc Fabregas and Dimitar Berbatov. Sheik Mansoor's estimated worth is nearly four times that of Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich. It's not porn but you'll like it If you missed the most talked about clip in Australian sport this week - Fevola's pink tutu with penis ensemble - see it on YouTube. Search "Mad Monday @ Transport Bar 1/9/08". Premonition The ultimate fighting heavyweight championship bout between Randy Couture and Brock Lesnar in November will break pay-per-view subscription records for the, ahem, sport. While Lesnar is a relative newcomer to mixed martial arts (MMA) and boasts an unimpressive 2-1 record - hardly worthy of shot at the title - UFC organisers have wasted no time making him the contender. This is because Lesnar made his name in World Wrestling Entertainment, the scripted pro wrestling saga that dominates pay-per-view subscription figures. Lesnar was not only a three-time WWE champion but one of the show's most impressive athletes before he quit in 2004 to pursue an NFL career. Lesnar has been given a crack at the championship when others may have been more deserving - dollars make sense. Couture (16-8) is the only fighter in history to win the UFC world heavyweight title three times. "There is one goal that I've had since I started training in MMA and that is to capture the title," said Lesnar, who possibly has the biggest trapezius muscles of any human alive. If you're not watching sport, you should be listening to Bummed . Happy Mondays. With the help of iconoclastic producer Martin Hannett, the rascals from Manchester created an album that captured the mood of England in the late '80s. Shaun Ryder's monotone delivery of his lyrics is enhanced by a group, that despite their off-stage antics, produces the goods. Wrote For Luck is six minutes of pure Madchester magic.

- Ears McEvoy Get me my cab money Zucc says resuming mare Jewelled Gate has a handy fresh record and will relish the damp conditions in the last at Randwick today. Useless trivia Trapezius gets its name from its trapezium-like shape when looking at both muscles at once: the corners being the neck, two shoulders, and the thoracic vertebra, T12.