He actually went to hell for following Essendon.

Anyway, he’s met at the front desk by a little devil who gave him a choice between three rooms.

The little devil opens the first door and inside everyone was shivering in blocks of ice up to their shoulders.

The man shuddered and said “Ah, I might take a look behind door number 2 thanks!”.

Inside the next room, everyone was head down in a blazing furnace.

“Ouch!” said the man, “I might try my luck with door number 3 please”.

The devil opens door number 3 to reveal people standing in sewerage, drinking cups of coffee.

The Essendon supporter says “I’ll take this room, thanks!”

He sticks up a picture of James Hird and pours himself a coffee.

Seconds later Satan himself flies into the room, hovers over the pit and shouts “OK you lot, coffee break is over. Back on your heads!” I know ... I’ve heard this one too.

I once went to a seminar on death. As you might expect, it wasn’t very lively.

The facilitator asked the question: “Imagine you were at your own funeral.”

I thought, “I’ve heard this one.” The facilitator continued: “No, really imagine it! Now, as family and friends get up to speak about you, what would you want people to be able to say about you at your funeral?”

So I started thinking, and I decided that what I would really like every person at my funeral to be able to say about me is “gee, that priest owed me a lot of money!”

No, if I was given the above funeral scenario, do you know what I would really love people at my funeral to be able to say about me? I would want them all to be able to say “Look! He’s moving! He’s still alive!”

OK, I’ll be serious now. It is amazing how, as switched on as we are today, we have become a death-denying society, and I do not believe it has done us any favours.

The vast majority of people who have ever lived in history are now dead and, some day, we will join them.

We used to muse about them at Halloween, but Halloween has now become a trick, not a treat.  

The day was called “All Hallows” – a saint being “hallowed”, a holy person, and where we got the word “halo” from.

The day before All Hallows Day was “Hallow’s E’en (Evening)”, hence the celebration of Halloween.

Superstitions aside, today even most Christians never pray for the dead, even though the Bible encourages us that we should (2 Maccabees 12:41-45).

Praying for them, with them and through them to God is very therapeutic for those of us who grieve for the dearly departed.

It reminds us that while death radically changes friendships, it does not really end them.

I remember when one of my best friends from school and my favourite niece both died only a few months apart.

I never thought I would ever be anything but miserable ever again.

I didn’t want to talk to anybody about anything, not even my parents.

What got me back on track was talking to God and to the ones I lost with the firm belief that they were listening.

Some of my Bible Christian friends disagree with me about doing this. 

But when I ask them for Bible passages that say we should not pray for, to or with the dead, they cannot give me one.

And when any of us have lost someone we deeply love, who of us have not at some stage called out to them in our tears?

It just happens naturally because it is actually a very natural and human response.

Imagining ourselves at our own funerals is a useful exercise. 

But I doubt anybody will ever actually pull it off, so don’t plan on it – at least until cloning anyway.

However, speaking to those we’ve loved and lost can console us in these brief years of separation before eternity.