I was cruising along the east road, munching on some fresh kingies, surveying the ever-enchanting view of poplars and green cow pastures, when a dirty, great rock rolled out in front of me.

I awoke with my head resting in the lush lap of a gorgeous, young vampire, whose scarlet eyes peered softly down on me through carmine locks that tantalised my cheeks with soft caress as she stroked my furrowed forehead with a vermillion scarf.

Sadly, I couldn’t fully appreciate the supreme poignancy of the moment because of a splitting headache, and the more she tenderly wiped my creased brow, the more my head cleared, and I realised that it wasn’t just a crease in my head but a bloody, great split. As she continued to wipe the blood from my eyes, her hair turned to auburn and her eyes to gentle green; no longer a vampire, but a salacious angel of mercy.

Immediately, my heart began to beat more loudly, goodness gracious, boom diddy boom, boom, boom, boom. Then I realised it wasn’t my heart losing itself again, but an enormous red and yellow helicopter beating over us. Straight out of heaven into hell, I thought, as the poplars swayed in the swirling winds and my precious prawns scattered across the tar.

The Westpac helicopter had come to the rescue. It settled softly on the lucerne fields and disgorged a bevy of paramedics who raced to the aid of the splintered ‘Log’. Before long, I had bid farewell to the sweet madonna, explaining to the pilot why he shouldn’t just take me over the Bucketts to Gloucester hospital where my wife, Lyn was working as that would certainly result in me kicking the bucket. I expressed my wish to look at the scenery more closely on the way south, and, in no time at all was delivered safely into the arms of my old mate, John Hunter.

And that’s what happens every day with Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service. Whether it be old logs or young bubs, mountain climbers or canoeists, surfers or cyclists, they quickly and efficiently deliver their patients with a minimum of fuss and no charge. They have been doing it for 20 years in our area and have gained much deserved plaudits from an appreciative community, who fittingly donate generously to ensure their operation continues long into the future.

The annual fundraiser dinner dance on Saturday September 22 is to show the appreciation of donors’ contributions over the years, and even though their won’t be a chip off the old ‘Log’ up for sale, a fun auction of many other interesting items is sure to add to the coffers of this worthy and, indeed, essential service for our community.